“After that, he was in my dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never within reach.” Okay, the symbolism is about as subtle as a boot to the head, but since we’ve read the book jacket we know it’s going to turn out all right. I would argue that Meta-Bella is trying to tell Canon-Bella that Edward is never going to give her emotional intimacy or be her equal, but I don’t think SMeyer is that clever. This establishes their relationship- he is the superior walking ahead of her, and she is the helpless child running behind him, begging for a little bit of his light. It’s actually pretty disturbing and suggests that Bella has an Elektra Complex.
“To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of that week.” I could see this being uncomfortable, but after Bella whining about how no one liked her for her, I would think this genuine outpouring of concern would be at least a little touching.
“Mike and Eric were even less friendly toward him than they were to each other, which made me worry that I'd gained another unwelcome fan.” Why are these young men unwelcome? You don’t really know any of them, because you refuse to give them a chance, so for all you know, they’re terrific guys and would be good boyfriends. I understand being shy, but she doesn’t want to give anyone a chance. Also telling is how she refers to these swains as ‘fans’. For all her talking about her low self-esteem, she’s awfully self-important.
“With chagrin, I realized the probable cause — no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was.” The first improper usage of the word ‘chagrin’.
“No one else watched him the way I did. How pitiful.” Yes, Meta-Bella! Realize how your obsession is unhealthy! He did save your life, and it’s nice of you to be grateful, but you know that he’s a jerk. Stay away from him, he’ll only hurt you!
“Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his firsthand account. People avoided him as usual.” Did you ever really ask why people avoid him? Oh wait, you did, were told that he was a rude snob, and decided that the girl you asked was just jealous because he was so hawt.
“And, overnight, the heat of my anger faded into awed gratitude.” WHY!?! Oh, Meta-Bella, where are you? Be grateful that he saved your life- it would make you a total bitch if you weren’t, but can’t you hold onto a little anger for how badly he treats you? Why are you so overawed by his beauty when it holds such an ugly personality?
“Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my e-mails alerted Renée to my depression, and she called a few times, worried.” What’s there to be depressed about? You have three guys vying for your attention. Everyone in
“"It will be really fun." Her attempt to convince me was halfhearted. I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my actual company.” You bitch. Really, I want to smack Bella across the mouth for this. This girl just made sure that you didn’t like the boy she likes before she asked him to the dance. That seems like a really kind thing to do, and the sort of thing a real friend would do. Of course, Jessica is ugly (she has BIG HAIR!) so SMeyer puts a bit in ‘Midnight Sun’ about how Jessica is really the bitch. -_-
“As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of my imagination.” Yet another mention of this insane obsession.
“I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. But I saw, from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction.” Even when another guy is trying to tell you he really likes you, all you can think about is Edward, even though he’s been acting like you don’t exist for at least a week.
“Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes flickered in his direction?” Oh, please, oh please, Edward, notice that guys are jealous of my mad masturbatory fantasies about you!
“"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head.” Come on, being human will make me likable.
“There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.” Quoting Robert Pattinson: “Edward was so beautiful I creamed myself”
“I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place.” *ahem* Come again? Released? This is awfully patriarchal language she’s using.
“I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me — just because he'd happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks.” Wait, what? The timeline is really fuzzy- first he glares at you, then he disappears for… a week? Then there’s the accident the day after that, and it’s been a week since that. So, according to your narration, you’ve been in Forks for three weeks, not six.
“I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.” Yes, Meta-Bella! You realize that there is nothing healthy about obsession with looks and controlling men.
“His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.” It’s so cute when you whine like a child. It makes me feel like a man, and really makes me want to turn you over my knee and spank you like the naughty little girl you are.
“"Then what do you want, Edward?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.” Well, then, you realize that it’s just his looks.
“"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."” First warning to stay away from him, page 36. So far his actions haven’t contradicted this.
“"You don't know anything." He was definitely mad.” I know this is supposed to be an angry retort, but it again establishes Edward as better and smarter than Bella.
Adoraklutz strikes again, page 37.
Third conversation- second fight.
More Adoraklutz, page 37. No one is passing her the ball, so how is she continually falling down?
“I heard a low chuckle.” Third time Edward has laughed at her.
“Edward was in his car already, two spaces down, sliding out smoothly in front of me, cutting me off.” Okay, dude, now you’re just being an asshole. You’re also breaking this ‘Stay away from me’ thing, because there’s really no better way to get a girl engaged in conversation than to be a total asshole. At the very least, she should storm up to you and say ‘What the hell, man?’ Also, in his quest to be an asshole to Bella, he’s cuts off everyone else in the parking lot. What a dick.
“Directly behind me, Tyler Crowley was in his recently acquired used Sentra, waving.” Yet another reminder that the people other than the Cullens are poor.
“He was unquestionably shaking with laughter, as if he'd heard every word
“I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Charlie or my mom.” Why does she hate her parents so much? Really.
“But my head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Edward had spoken today.” I would be trying to figure out why he was going out of his way to be a dick.
“He must see how absorbed I was by him; he must not want to lead me on… so we couldn't even be friends… because he wasn't interested in me at all.” Now you know what it feels like, you standoffish bitch. I found it ironic that you referred to Lauren as ‘standoffish’ when you can barely be bothered to speak to people who aren’t Edward.
“Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful… and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.” He’s an asshole. He’s mean, rude, snobby, and he laughs at you all the time. Sure, he’s physically perfect, BUT HE’S A TOTAL DICKWEED! You know nothing about anyone else in the town, because you don’t care enough to ask, so I’d say everyone else is pretty mysterious. But you only care about Edward, because A) he’s really hot, and B) you’ve read the book jacket and realize that you’re supposed to fall in love with him.
“But he was a cop, even if just a small-town cop,” Could you be more disrespectful and close-minded? Seriously, try.
“I didn't want to ask permission — it set a bad precedent — but I felt rude, so I tacked it on at the end.” A bad precedent? A non-emancipated teenager asking her legal guardian for permission? To make a road trip in the car that that guardian bought for her?
Page 39: "
“I tried to be crafty as I hid my horror.” Oh, ick, this man who is responsible for half my genetic makeup wants to spend time with me and make sure that I’m safe. HOW AWFUL!
“Only in a town this small would a father know when the high school dances were.” Because men don’t care about their children. That there be women’s work.
“Edward Cullen was right next to me, leaning casually against my truck.” So, you know how I told you yesterday that we should never spend any time together at all?
""That was for
“"Bella, you are utterly absurd," he said, his low voice cold.” I think this is supposed to be an example of his speech being old-fashioned, but it’s not. Also, why are you so mad that she pointed out that you’re being a major league douchebag?
"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled. He seemed to have recovered his good humor.” It’s so funny when the weak woman thing tries to do what’s best for her. He has now laughed at her six times.
“"You're doing it again."” Doing what again? You’re acting like a crazy person- ‘We can’t ever be friends’, ‘I’m going to be rude’, ‘I’m going to act hurt that you called me on my dickish behavior’, ‘I’m going to laugh at you again’, ‘I’m going to insult you’, ‘I’m going to be surprised that you’re mad at me’.
“"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.” I’m much smarter than you, weak woman thing.
“"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."” Meta-Bella, come on. For God’s sakes, he’s about as jerky as you can get without actually hickory-smoking him. Buy a vibrator or something.
“"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."” And here he is, really. Saying one thing and doing another. Great trait in a love interest.
Page 41, two typos in two sentences. First, the closing quotation marks are misplaced, and then “so I could more easily look at is face”
“I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded.” Why are you so bowled over by a pretty face? Girl, I really must say it- learn how to masturbate properly, and all of this burning tension should ease up a bit.
“"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."” But rather than be the good guy and control myself, I’m just going to warn you to stay away from me while pushing you to spend time with me.
Four conversations, three fights.