Monday, May 18, 2009

Not from book 1

This is from another entry on, but proof that "imprinting" is explicitly sexual. For those who don't know, SMeyer has her werewolves "imprint" - when they see their soulmate, they become obsessed with her.One falls for a girl who rejects him (he's her cousin's fiance), so he brutalizes her and she accepts. One guy falls for the girl who adored him, but who he never gave the time of day. And two imprint on children: a two-year-old and an infant. The ones who fall in love with children become constant fixtures in those little girl's lives, with the expectation of one day having a sexual relationship with them, While SMeyer says, 'Oh, they're just big brothers.... until the girls are old enough!' Imprinting is explicitly sexual because SMeyer is an awful writer. She tells us it's not sexual, but shows very plainly that it is. Proof that imprinting is sexual, even on the babies:

"He'll just have to be patient for a few decades." Eclipse, page 121. Why would he have to be patient if he just wanted to be her big brother? He can be big brother her entire life.

"And then, when she's grown up, they'll be as happy as Emily and Sam." Eclipse, page 121. How can that be if Quil (and everyone else) does not expect a sexual relationship? Jacob says that it isn't romantic, but it obviously is, because he's waiting on her to grow up, so they can be "as happy as Sam and Emily". (Sam is the one who ripped Emily's face off, causing her to realize she loves him)

"But why wouldn't she choose him, in the end?" Eclipse, page 121. Jacob does not understand that obsession is not necessarily reciprocated. Also, no matter how much he states to the contrary, he is expecting this to become a sexual relationship. He is not expecting Quil to simply worship the object of his affections to the end of his days, like he should if imprinting is not sexual. But because it is, Quil is just waiting for Claire to get old enough before telling her that he wants to hit that good.

“Cwaire pway wid Qwil aaaawl day. Cwaire nebber gowin home.” Breaking Dawn, page 97. If that doesn't set off your creep alarm...

"No matter what stage they were in—about to tie the knot like Sam or just a much-abused nanny like Quil—the peace and certainty they always radiated was downright puke-inducing." Breaking Dawn, page 97. Quil is certain that Claire will choose him when he decides to make his move. The idea that she might say no never occurs to him.

"You never saw a real parent so jazzed to play whatever stupid kiddie sport their rugrat could think up." Breaking Dawn, page 98. Because Quil has to be perfect, or Claire won't sleep with him.

"Though I did think it sucked that he had a good fourteen years of monkitude ahead of him until Claire was his age—for Quil, at least, it was a good thing werewolves didn’t get older." Breaking Dawn, page 98. The monkitude. Jacob knows that this is sexual, no matter how much he pretends otherwise. Monks are celibate. Jacob says Quil is going to wait to end his celibacy until Claire's 17 or so.

"He was worse than any paranoid, overprotective mother." Breaking Dawn, page 99. Because no mother is waiting for her child to grow old enough to have sex with.

"His hands flew up to touch Claire, as if making sure she was still there." Breaking Dawn, page 99. CREEEEEEEPY!

"I tugged lightly against his hold on Renesmee, and he just stepped closer to me." Breaking Dawn, page 289. Jacob just can't let go of his sex object.

"Staring at her like… like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time." Breaking Dawn, page 289. But no, that's not sexual, especially not for a grown man looking at an infant.

“You stupid mutt! How could you? My baby!” Breaking Dawn, page 289. Why would Bella be so upset if she didn't know perfectly well it was sexual? If he was just going to be big brother to her little monster, why would she care?

“I can share,” he said pleadingly as he retreated across the lawn." Breaking Dawn, page 290. Generous of him, considering that he's talking to the baby's mother.

"“You think you’ll be part of my family as my son-in-law!”" Breaking Dawn, page 290. Because there's no way he's not going to marry her someday.

"“You’re going to stay away from her,” I hissed up at Jacob.
“I can’t do that!”" Breaking Dawn, page 290. Proof that imprinting is about the imprinter, not the imprintee. He only cares about being around her, not what she or her family wants.

"“He was watching Nessie sleep, his mouth hanging open like the moron he is," Breaking Dawn, page 315. He is sexually fascinated by this infant.

"“I’m not going to think about that for approximately six and a half more years.”
Edward laughed and then sighed. “Of course, it looks like he’ll have some competition to worry about when the time comes.” Breaking Dawn, page 474. Yes, because letting your best friend bang your daughter is so much better at 7 than at 6 months. But still, they're admiring Jacob's restraint in not banging her until she looks grown up.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Chapter 8: Wangst material without any wangst

“We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with.” Bella continues to prove herself to be a very bad friend. She said one sentence ago that she got a rush from the whole ‘Girl’s Night’ thing, but now she’s classifying Jessica’s conversation as ‘jabbering’.

“"People ask you out here," she reminded me, "and you tell them no." So someone has noticed that Bella has some major contradictions going on. She was never noticed in her old town, but now she’s the town darling.

“"Tyler told everyone he's taking you to prom," Jessica informed me with suspicious eyes.” This doesn’t make any sense given the context of the scene. Why would Jessica think that Bella is going to the prom with Tyler when she’s just pointed out that Bella turns down every guy who asks her out? That’s just lazy writing.

“"He said what ?" I sounded like I was choking.” Bad writing- what’s wrong with ‘“He said what?” I choked out’?

“The girls'-night high was wearing off in the wake of my annoyance at Tyler, leaving room for the gloom to move back in.” What high? You’ve been a sad sack the entire trip, like always. It really makes no sense why anyone would like Bella – that girl could out-mope Eeyore.

Typo, page 74: a pair of pinkstrappy heels

Angela has answered “quietly” twice in two pages. Do you think she’s quiet?

“I was beginning to really like Angela.” Bella now has three classes of people she likes: really rude, really easily used, and really quiet, so she doesn’t have to actually have conversations. Human interaction is so overrated anyway.

“they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books;” I have a hard time believing this. Bella is rarely mentioned reading and does not seem to get anything out of reading.

“I decided that was one conversation I could skip. There had to be a normal bookstore in town.” I’m so judgmental it hurts sometimes.

“I was wrestling with despair.” Back to being Big Ole Miss Sad Sack. I don’t believe Bella has ever experienced a negative emotion deeper than mild chagrin, which is why she categorizes all her minor emotions as gigantic, life-ending things.

“But a small, frightened voice in the back of my mind warned me that they might be something worse than thieves.” Honestly, this just seems like yet another thing to confirm that Bella is the speshulest most beautiful girl in the world. She can’t even walk around a town without people attempting to rape her.

“I was sure to trip and go sprawling if I tried to go any faster.” Adoraklutz strikes! Seriously, does Bella have a major inner ear problem that makes her so clumsy? The clumsiest people I know don’t fall down every five minutes like she claims to do.

“"Get in," a furious voice commanded.” “Furious” What right does he have to be furious? Especially since I get the feeling that that fury is going to be directed at her, not the potential rapists.

“"Put on your seat belt," he commanded,” Who the hell does he think he is, giving orders like that?

“blowing through several stop signs without a pause.” Dude, you’re in a car, and even if you weren’t, you could rip those guys to pieces. Why are you endangering innocent lives?

“until it occurred to me that his expression was murderously angry.” If he was angry at the rapists, this would be kind of sweet. But if he’s angry at her, it’s as if almost getting raped was her fault. You never can be too sure with Edward.

“"Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down," he clarified,” The word “prattle” is very telling… it establishes that he doesn’t really think what she says is important or valuable.

Typo, page 78: he think sprom

“Edward's voice was low, but full of authority.” Spank me, Daddy-man!

“She bit her lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted.” Again, Jessica is being an ideal friend. She may talk too much, but her heart is totally in the right place. But of course, SMeyer ret-cons her into Queen Bitch.

“Obviously, there would be no further discussion.” Why does she let him boss her around like this? If I had just had a traumatic experience like a gang-rape attempt, the last thing I would want to do would be to eat. I’d be a quivering, crying mass, not grinning and winking and docilely following orders. Bella has no imagination and no depth to not realize that a horrible thing just happened.

“"Do I dazzle you ?"” *snerk* Maybe it’s because I’m a big fan of the X-men, but that line makes me think of Edward in a silver jumpsuit and roller skates.

“she assured him with another unnecessary smile.” I’ve worked as a waitress. We’re supposed to smile at customers. What are these girls supposed to do, glower at Mr. Sparklepants?

“"Drink," he ordered.” He never suggests, does he? It’s always a direct order. Living with him would be like living with R. Lee Ermey.

“I sipped at my soda obediently,” Maybe she’s just a natural submissive?

“He was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was.” More *snerk*. His clothes are ridiculously camp, and people who are dead white can not wear white.

“"That color blue looks lovely with your skin,"” Wait, what? What blue?

Typo page 81: “She sat them down.” It should be “set”.

“"Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know." Bella Sue needs some wangst, or people might think she gets everything too easily. Of course, nothing happened, so it’s the best of both worlds.

“I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure.” Meta-Bella almost realizes again that he’s a creep.

“I felt a spasm of fear at his words,” Abusive action alert – he just threatened her with death.